THANKSGIVING DAY!

This is the strangest Thanksgiving we have had as a family in many years.....sister, W is with mom at cousin's house; daughter J, son-n-law R, and grandson, A, are in Houston having brunch at a restaurant with R's family; hubby, R is at house in NY with invalid sister cooking up a storm with his niece; brother T and family are at friends (where I would have like to go) and I am at my sister M's cooking. I am glad I am here with her and my nephews.
I woke up early and headed for K-Mart...yes I was one of the crazies! I have never seen that many cars in the parking lot....I didn't even no that many people knew K-Mart

existed, but I guess when the sales come out, everyone comes out of the woodwork. I stood in line for about 20 minutes before being allowed in the store, at which time I immediately headed for

electronic.....and to my surprise there was plenty of the TV that were on sale! I sprang up to grab a TV when I was asked for my number....what number, I asked???? the paper that was handed out with numbers!!! well they didn't get to my part of the line with "numbers"! I wanted a number! and this biddy says, I"I got here at 5:30 am, that's how I got a number!" well goody for you! I got here at 6:45 am...and I got to the TVs first, so that is why I should have one (no I didn't say that to her). I asked the "K-Mart" guys, what happens if they (the TVs) are not all claimed. one of them said the person has all day to claim it.....I could go home and make a paper with a number and come back! but really, I just decided to wait, to see if the Little K-Mart guy was telling me the truth. I and other people waiting also, when we were down to three TVs they gave up (TOO BAD FOR YOU!). down to 2 TVs. to one TV and it's 7:25 am.....the nice K-Mart electronics manager came over, asked the little K-Mart guy if this was the only one left? and the nice K-Mart electronics manager told the little K-Mart guy that I could have it!!! OH HAPPY DAYS!!! I grabbed that plastic yellow strap that is around the box and dragged it through the store! and right out to my car (well after I paid for it!). From there I treated myself to a vente, coffee light frappuccino with hazelnut! if I wasn't so excited I would have gone back to bed when I got home, but there was not way! So I took a great walk.....it was beautiful, sun shinning, birds singing...no more turkeys are gobbling though! poor little birds.....

then I returned back at the house, I to was getting the poor little bird ready for everyone to feast on.
This was another FIRST for me...I have never made, baked, cooked, prepared a turkey before. I pulled the "bag" of stuff out of him; yanked on something coming out of what I thought was it's ass, but I thought the piece I was pulling at to remove was it's neck...can't figure that one out! threw some fruits inside it's cavity; rubbed butter all over it; and threw it into a paper bag.....
5 hours later...it's done!
We had a really nice dinner (of course I burned the rolls or at least they were too dark), but all in all it was a good day...THANKFUL that my family is all safe and eating well and that I know we will be together soon! I missed the East Coast part of my family, but it is good to be here (CA) for a while!!

Thanksgiving Pies!

I have never baked a pie in my life, well unless it is a frozen pie from the store...I mean, make the filling, scoop it into the pie shell (no I didn't make the shell!), bake it and it's ready for Thanksgiving Day! Well, tonight I did it!! followed directions..called my hubby in NY about 4 times; and by 10:30 pm I had 2 apple, 2 pumpkin and 1 mincemeat pie all by myself!
I also took my sister's recipe that no one could screw up, for sweet potato casserole and tried to make it...first, the sweet potatoes in CA are huge! so I had way too much sweet potato in the casserole dish; then the topping did not spread, but kind of dropped on to and into the Sweetpotatoes.....but it was done and ready for at least me to try the next day for dinner.
OK so mine didn't quite look like this!

Everything and Nothing

Today could not have started any better. You see, I don't have much faith in myself, let alone the world sometimes. Some days suck and others just exist, then there are still other days that I would rather crawl back to bed...you know we have all had them! But today started out with finding out that we (a project for school) received the grant we were really hoping for...me more than anyone, because of two reasons: 1. show myself that I can write a good grant; 2. show others that I can write a good grant. I mean really, isn't that what we all want..to be recogonized; well I do! And today was that day! This is a $6,000 grant..not much money, but not chump change either. I love writing grants...asking for money...or items we need from the store for a fundraiser or shelter or what even I am working on.

Driving across the country with my hubby, R

R and I have driven to Texas (from NY) at least 10 times...most of these trips were to visit daughter, J. We lived there for a year when she was 3 yrs. old and returned exactly one year later with first son, R.
We have driven to CA twice; only round trip once (I'm still here!). Every trip we have made, we drive straight through, except for our off road ventures and site-seeing.
It was our trip to CA in August, 2004. We wanted to take a few days; stop to visit; and have some fun. Our first stop was in PA at daughter’s apartment, where they were living at the time. Her R was home from Iraq for a visit and we were fortunate enough to spend the weekend with them. We went to see downtown Pittsburgh, a beautiful places that I probably would not have seen if they didn't live there. J is an excellent tour guide and always wants her visitors to experience something when they visit her!

The next stop we tried to make was going to be in Nashville, TN. This is another great city that I had visited and R wanted to see it. However, we forgot about Elvis’s death anniversary and the roads of Tennessee were crowded. It was too difficult to get on and off the main highway, so we kept on driving right out of TN. The next day we drove through New Orleans....this was before K, and although we didn’t get out, it was a scenic drive. We ended up that day in Houston, TX....we wanted to visit R’s (son-n-law) grandparents. Now these people are a hoot! Grandpa is 80 + yrs old and he will keep you laughing......and grandma watches over his every need.

OK...this trip really seems boring, but it wasn’t.....so I am going to jump two days....R and I are driving in the Panhandles of TX....on some old road. I am really getting uninterested in this trip because you can only look at green grass, farms, cows, horses and houses just so long....then there is the jail inmate chained to the lawn mower mowing the lawn in front of the one room jail (that’s another story)....

So I am reading and answering my hubby’s commentaries with, Hmmmmm, yep, ok (as I am trying to read!). When my cell phone rings (even in the back roads of TX...Thank god or someone for cell phones!) and it is my sister, W! yeah...another human to talk too! after a quick conversation, I go back to my reading.

When all of a sudden, R stops the car and yells, “did you see those camels?” Now I think he is crazy...too much driving (he hardly lets me drive)...he is definitely seeing things unless we really made a wrong turn! like to Iraq or Iran or some desert or wilderness or barren region, but I put my book down and pay him attention...I am sure that is all he needs.

And guess what I saw?

a field of camels!

yep, right there in somewhere in Texas.

Well I just had to call W back and tell her the good news!

there they were, standing there, wondering what the hell these human crazy people were doing along side the road, flashing something at them.....that was the best time.

We still laugh about it. I can’t wait till we get to take another trip...just R and me...

”On the road again...looks like were on the road again!” (Willie sings it better!)

See there they are! This picture was really taken in Texas somewhere......I really need to learn to read a map better.........

Friday is Favorite Things Blog Day!

WEll, I decided on the listing way of stating my favorite things.....so here it goes!

What do you love? 

my grandson

A, my grandson

my 11 month old grandson

my grandson in VA

Little Man A

OK...I also Love: 

my hubby, R

My daughter, J and her hubby, R (he is another son, that I didn’t have to give birth to!)

My sons, R & A

I know we all have names with J or R or A!

My best sister, W

yeah the other one, too, but definitely her boys

my best brother, T and his wife, and their boys

OK...the family
a sunny day

working with young people, education

grant writing
learning new things

listening to a good story on my ipod as I walk

reading a good book

spending a Sunday with my sister, W

spending a Saturday doing nothing with my brother, T

listening to my grandson’s sounds

listening to my grandson laugh

listening to my daughter smile about her beautiful son

hearing my sister, W’s voice on the phone, 3000 mile away

driving across country with my husband

What would you hate to have to live without? 

My car

legs

bed

hubby

family

(not necessarily in that order!)

spending time with my grandson, A

being able to walk long distances and watch what is happening around me

listening to my grandson’s sounds

listening to my grandson laugh

listening to my daughter smile about her beautiful son

hearing my sister, W’s voice on the phone, 3000 mile away

a sunny day

working with young people, education

learning new things

listening to a good story on my ipod as I walk

reading a good book

spending a Sunday with my sister, W

spending a Saturday doing nothing with my brother, T

listening to my grandson’s sounds

listening to my grandson laugh

listening to my daughter smile about her beautiful son

hearing my sister, W’s voice on the phone, 3000 mile away

driving across country with my husband

What couldn't you live without?

Air

sun

drinking water

emails, so I can get my grandson's pictures and videos

spending time with my grandson, A

listening to my grandson’s sounds

listening to my grandson laugh

listening to my daughter smile about her beautiful son

hearing my sister, W’s voice on the phone, 3000 mile away

paycheck (sometimes)...so I can pay for all the flts to VA

Being Gramma

Those are the most "beautifulest" words I have every heard! (Yeah, I know W really bad English...more of my made up words) When I learned I was going to be a grandmother, it didn’t really sink in at first. Well when your told on April 1^st, you do have to wonder. However, I knew this was NOTHING that my daughter would joke about. And I could hear my son-n-law smiling!

Now you might ask, how do you “hear” someone smiling? Well it’s in you head.....you visualize yourself standing right next to the person, as your looking at this huge shit-ass grin on their face.....I could see his (son-n-law) face and he was grinning from ear to ear! but I wasn’t sure if my daughter was. I walked around the house the next day (Sunday), saying, did I dream it; is J pregnant? am I really going to be a grandmother? I must of asked myself 100 times.....but I couldn’t call J, because that would drive her crazy (especially if I dreamt it!)

You see she was 30 yrs old....all of my kids (also, 2 sons) told me there was no way they were having kids; kind of had me wondering if I was that scary as a mother! but I lived with the fact that I wasn’t going to be a G-Mom....it really was okay.

Then on that April Fools, 2006....those words were spoken! I’m going to be a
g _ _ _ _ _ _ _! I couldn't even say the word! Scare the H out of me! Would I be any good? Would he/she love me? or even like me? would I love him/her enough?

As time went on...8 more months.....I couldn’t wait. I was very worried about J...wondering if she was feeling the same kind of fears, but worse as the mommy. Then the day came to travel to VA to be with J for the delivery. J and I made ornaments; watch TV; read and basically wasted time waiting for the little boy to arrive. A week later, R, Grandpapa and I all went with mommy to welcome the little one into the world.

When he arrived, he was the most “beautifulest” (that’s my word and I’m sticking too it!) thing I had ever seen and never wanted to stop looking at him. There was no question in my mind that I truly loved this little person and that he was going to be loved by so many people.

Baby A was made to arrive, then made to breath..... I watched this little person creep into the world....there can never be anything more magnificent than being there for your grandson’s birth.

I miss him everyday and cherish the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and almost year that he has been in my life. Thanks, J! (oh yeah, R, too!)

Genuine Viagra

Everyday I check my email to find some message that has slipped through my spam addresses telling me about business cards (I don't have a business)... Get 250 Free* business cards for just the cost of shipping; home insurance; mortgages... No Social Security Number Required! Get a FREE Quote Today!......I’ll take a billion; student loans (I have plenty of them if they want me to share with them!); this one is tempting these days, “Dream Job Get in the Credit Card Business”; Virtual Store - Pleasanton..... RE: order @ 1423545-0-14; Be a Teacher (but I already am one...I think).....you get the picture.
But really, the best one is the “Meredith Cooley: Enlarge up to 4 inches in length in just weeks!” enlarge what...use your imagination, I am not opening the email or the “Genuine Viagra: Customer Notification: Order”.....how could they have an order for me when I didn’t order anything?!?! and what is genuine about Viagra? Have you actually listened to one of their commercials....the warnings should be enough to make you wonder why any guy would want to take it or for any wife/girl friend/female to let him take it. Now girls, think about it.....if it last longer than four hours, seek medical attention; if it last longer than a fifteen minute, it’s too long! Just imagine if he took both.....Meredith’s enlarging and Genuine Viagra.....his thing could stretch pass his beer gut and be stuck there for hours!
OK...enough about his ! I'll clean it up tomorrow.......

'He's our Spam expert!'

Solitude and Walking

I have found a new out for my anger/frustration/stress...walking. When I was growing up, and the “shit” started to hit the fan (most everyday around 5 to 6 pm), I would put my invisible ear plugs in and hide. School/bio-mother wondered why I didn’t talk; probably because I didn’t hear! It was my way of coping. Now that I am over that 50 mark, and 3000 miles away from the people I love (some are here, too!), I walk. If it is sunny enough out, I can get away with not looking funny wearing my sun glasses, and then no one can see my eyes. And now that it is getting dark earlier, I walk very fast to get as many miles and distance in as possible, because I have to get back to my room.

As you can tell, this was a very "sucky" day at the hormonal pit. Three days off wasn’t long enough and five more days (school days) before another long weekend, is too long. So, what do I do? Think about my beautiful grandson running to me when I walk in the door on December 14^th! Read more blogs...”Jason, for the love of god” http://jasonfortheloveofgod.blogspot.com , really helped me through today. Her 365 post..#322 about the person who spells “Ooctober”...that’s me, well almost. I use the computer so I can watch for the red and green swiggly (like that one) lines!

I am getting ready to start spreading out my blog...I love to read everyone else’s; it would be nice to be in the cyber friend world. They won’t know who I am or am not.

Anyways, I wore brown today too W, maybe that’s why it was a sucky day. Let’s burn the brown clothes! Then again, maybe it was because I didn’t have the brown undies to match! (Love you)

Final Day!

Once again, I can't believe this long weekend is over; but more so, that Thanksgiving is next Thursday. What did I accomplish over that last 72 hours; hmmmmmmmm. walked on two of the days; worked on grandson's party project; did laundry/changed sheets; blogged, blogged, read blogs, read blogs...OK, so I didn't really accomplish that much, but the sleeping in part was really good.

I wish I was rich...I would have booked a flight to the east coast to visit my favorite people; or met my husband in some exotic resort and had......and drank something exotic; or flown my cool part of the family somewhere that we could have fun together...alright, enough dreaming. It is back to the old hormonal pit tomorrow! act all sweet to the girls so they don’t complain; say charming things to them, so they are not “offend”...just KEEP SMILING!

http://www.funfilesandsmiles.com/pictures/verynaughtyrabbit.htm

(can’t get the picture to upload, but you have to see it...reminds me of work!)

Day 2 of Long Weekend

I final got in that walk I have been trying to get back to since the trailer hitch bite my leg. It felt really good to be out there. Solitude time. Just me and my ipod. I get to think. Encourage myself.

Today, as I walked I thought about blogs that I have read this weekend. About being happy. About stories I have read in the newspaper the last few days. One article got to me....a wife and 2 year old son surprised their soldier at Camp Pendleton. The community from Buffalo, NY, raised money so this family could be at Camp P when he arrived back from Iraq. This is what the world is about. Taking care of each other. Doing something good for another person.

The Man I never really Knew, But Always Loved:
I thought of my Dad as I walked. I don’t know all his stories about the WWll. I just remember him telling that he joined before he was of age; and he was an Army medic in the Navy...I never quite understood that, but I know he liked what he did.

Then I thought about what he would say to me, now here in CA...he would ask if I was happy, at the same time he was shaking his head at me; with his comment...I don’t know about you. This was not his disapproval, but his wanting what was best for me. Dad always told me to do what made me happy. So back to the thought about being happy....am I? some days, yes...some, no. But isn’t that life. The world is not a perfect place. Life is not perfect. But I think of that last day with Dad. It seems like yesterday. He didn’t know who I was; but he knew how to make a peanut butter and banana sandwich! I often wonder if I made him drink more water, he won’t have gotten dehydrated. I know that isn’t true; I just wanted him to be comfortable and happy. Isn’t that all Dad every wanted for any of us. As hard as life was dealt to him (mostly from the “X”), I think he was content. We could sit for hours not saying a word, just knowing we were with each other. I remember when I stayed in Fla when he was sick; it was the day before I was leaving; he was feeling better. I woke up to him sitting in the chair just looking at me. He asked if I wanted to go get some shrimp for dinner. Then he asked if I wanted him to drive. I knew I could leave Fla, because he was feeling better; but there was no way I could let him drive. Step-mom would have killed me! He was a good man in everything he did. And I’ll always miss him, even if I didn’t really know him.

Thanks, but No Thanks!

That's the verdict again. Am I hoping too much; planning too much; wanting it too much. The hard part is this is another position that I am qualified for; I know what the position involves. But today, in the mailbox is that old familiar letter.....Thank you for applying....we will keep your file for future positions....Oh well, get another piece of chocolate and dream of my grandson smiling! Watch his video walking or running. Then maybe this is an omen...two day ago a position was posited for “grant manager”. Before I had even seen the posting, two people emailed it to me telling me to apply. Now I really don’t feel I qualify, just because I wrote a couple of grants but what do I have to loose. Maybe it was met to be!

O.K....... stop feeling sorry for yourself! Get over it! What did I accomplish off the long weekend list? I did a lot of reading...blog reading. I found out how to add audio CD into my audiobook folder on the ipod. (haven’t attempted it yet). Alright, so it wasn’t much, but it wasn’t a total waste of the day.

Blog reading has been good. My daughter started one and my sister is blog crazy, but I envy her; to be able to write about anything and have it sound decent. I enjoyed reading their blogs because I feel a closeness, even though I am 3000 miles away. It’s like listening to their daily activities or just a thought they had in their head. It’s funny, how we can go days without talking to each other, maybe an occasional email; always thinking about each other, but really talking to them....listening to what is new, sometimes happens days apart. Now I feel like I am listening to them everyday. It’s a comforting feeling!

Now what am I really doing 3000 miles away from these two beautiful women that I need so much in my life? Some days I don’t even know. But being here in CA has brought me much closer to my brother. We use to call each other on birthdays and holidays. We weren’t ignoring each other, or not speaking, but just for no other reason than we always knew the other was “there”. Not entirely the right thing to do at our age; we are comfortable in our lives of solitude. I have spent many weekends with him; talked about life, marriage, buying or not buying a house, kids; things that we never talked about and of course a lot of drinking...more him than me! We, as well as others around us, have realized that we are very much alike. We know how to ignore a situation (family); he hides, I don’t say anything. We both have our father genes when it comes to remodeling a house or building something. This will just make leaving CA as hard as the east coast, but I know I will someday.

NO SUBJECT OR MANY SUBJECTS

TEACHING:

I teach in a program for pregnant minors; these girls are between 12 and 19 years old. Some already have their babies, others are waiting. Some are great mothers and some I can’t imagine being a mother. I really don’t want to teach there, but I am not sure if it is because of the girls or it is because of the other two teachers I work with. Mr. A makes all of the decisions, and tells the students to let me know of “his” change in the program. Ms. A (just happens to be the same), ask the students what I am doing or not doing; she tells them they can lie down during my class (the nurses office has a bed, which is in my room); both teachers assign the students my subjects (I am covering the math and english subjects).

Today I went for an interview for a position that I don’t really want. It amazed me during the interview, when we are talking about the position; I am asking questions about the program when both of the people I am talking with, notice it is 3:15; they both, the teacher that I was asking questions of and the administrator that was interviewing me, get up and said it was time to go. As I walked out the door behind them, I practically ran to keep up with them to finish asking the last couple of question (that really locked in my reason for not wanting the position).

Now I have to hold my breath or maybe even pray that I get that contact next week for the position I really want. As I thought about this interview that I want, maybe even planning the interview appointment: I need to get my hair done; what will I wear; make sure I know about the school; what programs they offer; football stats; graduation rate, etc. I then thought about where it was located...this would be a perfect reason to move!

NEXT SUBJECT:

My sister and her husband are off to a marriage encounter weekend. I have the house to myself, well me and the dogs. One cool dog and a yappy bitch! I have made my list of things that I want to accomplish for myself; there will be no interruptions. Blog everyday; start walking to the gym again (leg is healed enough from the trailer hitch biting); clean room; read; watch my kind of movies; watch TV! haven’t seen any shows in two weeks. After all of this planning, I wonder how much I will actual do?

THE GREATEST LOVE IN THE WORLD

My husband adored his children from the first moment they were conceived. When they were born, he read to them every single night before bed. It totally amazed me that he never missed a night; that was their time with Daddy. Actually, he or the kids never knew that I was terrified to read to them, because I had reading difficulties. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had problems, or at least thought I did. It was just as much a lack of confidence as it was a lack of phonics skills. Maybe that is why I went into teaching Special Education. I wanted to make a difference, but at the same time I didn’t want anyone to notice.

Back to my husband...he adored his children. They could do no wrong (and they still can’t). I would put them on restrictions for something.... no TV, stay in your room and study. Always the rule was, don’t let them eat dinner in front of the TV. It was the dam-est thing....I would come home and find TV trays right in front of the television; and not just one table, but all four that they each used!

Now our kids are grown and somewhat on their own (or trying!) and along comes our beloved grandson. He is so perfect (to us grandparents, at least). I know that if my husband had his way, we would live right next door to him; I on the other hand would live with him! Every time the two of them are together, they are reading or playing. He is crazy about his grandson and the feels are return.

FIRST TOOTH ! !

Yeah! I have my first tooth finally!! Ansen grew 1 1/2" and gains a pound in 1 month...but his mom is concerned because he is in the 96% in hieght and 50% in wiegh...she must be starving him (she thinks)!! this is a big boy that is so good and happy.
For any baby to be able to visit a non-child house for the weekend and not come out with bruises or breaking anthing in the house , has to be a well care for baby!

A great weekend!

This was the best weekend I have had in CA in a long time! It was so low keyed; relaxing; no tension; this was a weekend I have needed! I was not afraid to talk; carry on a conversation with my nephews, if I want; talk or not talk; bake cookies (that sucked); laughed; cried; and ate great food with friends. Wow, friends.
Part of this group of friend consisted of my brother and sister-n-law, which I really think of them as good friends.
It is utterly amazing how three out of five siblings turned out so great; we can have fun; sit around the house and do nothing but, be completely happy; we have a conversation about anything and not wonder if we are criticizing each other, instead just having fun with each other...because that is what siblings do.
Oh well...I'll go to bed and get through this week; it's a three day weekend next!